There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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