The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
