if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
