Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
