Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
