This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
