I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
A+ Viking dick
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize