I must be too annoying 4 u.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
