oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Randomize
