Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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