how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
