Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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