He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
