see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
