Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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