Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
