That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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