He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We left the knife in your bed.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
