all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
two words...techno handjob
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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