did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
