She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize