So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
