i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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