I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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