I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
