Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
