I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
