We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
