And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
