i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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