I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
