youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
