Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
