I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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