He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
