just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
