I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
