This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
