So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
