You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
