I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
