oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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