I smell stomach acid.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
