Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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