After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
