it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
