Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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