Define "chronic" masturbator.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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