I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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