But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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