trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize