my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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