i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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