Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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