Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize