U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
