This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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