I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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