so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
