apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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