apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
