I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
