I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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