I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
