Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
organizing the empties. That sober.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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