Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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