Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
