Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
