Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
