You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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