OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
