I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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