so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
